carnac the magnificent curses

Line: 192 The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. Q: How do you spell kkkirsucla? A: Flypaper. . ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. , The Question: Name a mule, a donkey, and a jackass. Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. Q: Where is the American dollar headed? Box 4, Folder 47. The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. A: Chariots of the Gods. Q: What happens when your lorne rots? The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products. A: "Oh God!" A: Buddy Holly. The Phantom of the Opera, The Lion King, and Donald Trumps mouth. Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. (Crowd cheers) #10. The famous sage and soothsayer, all-knowing, all-seeing, all-omniscient, a weekend proctologist, and former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump. Watch Carson episodes every night on Antenna TV at 10:00PM ET / 7:00PM PT and 4:00PM ET / 1:00AM PT!Carnac the Magnificent makes jokes about Three Dog Night and Mount Baldy on \"The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson\" in 1974.JOHNNY CARSON PLAYLISTSAnimals http://bit.ly/carson_animalsBloopers http://bit.ly/carson_bloopersCarnac http://bit.ly/carson_carnacCelebrities http://bit.ly/carson_celebritiesChristmas http://bit.ly/carson_christmasComedians http://bit.ly/carson_comediansMonologues http://bit.ly/carson_monologuesSkits http://bit.ly/carson_skitsMusic http://bit.ly/carson_musicFOLLOW JOHNNY CARSONYOUTUBE: \"Subscribe\" http://bit.ly/johnnysubYOUTUBE MAIN MENU: http://bit.ly/johnny_menuYOUTUBE PREMIUM: http://youtube.com/johnnycarsontvFACEBOOK: \"Like\" http://fb.com/johnnycarson TWITTER: http://twitter.com/#!/JohnnycarsonGOOGLE+: http://bit.ly/johnnygplusJOHNNY CARSON IS AVAILABLE ON:ITUNES http://bit.ly/johnnyitunesDVD: http://bit.ly/carsondvdsAMAZON: http://bit.ly/amzn_carsonGOOGLE PLAY: http://bit.ly/carson_gplay\"carnac on three dog night and mount baldy\" \"three dog night\" \"mount baldy\" \"johnny carson\" \"johnny carson youtube\" \"tonight show\" \"johnny carson show\" comedy \"best of johnny carson\" Carson \"johnny carson best moments\" \"the best of johnny carson\" \"johnny carson theme song\" \"best of carson\" \"the tonight show with johnny carson\" \"tonight show johnny carson\" \"tonight show band\" \"jonny carson\" \"carnac the magnificent\" \"carnac\" \"johnny carson carnac\" \"humor\" \"hilarious\" \"funniest moments\" \"video clip\" \"live tv\" A: Lady-in-waiting. Imgflip Pro Basic removes all ads. The Answer: NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, FOX News and a Crowbar. Get a random spoof news story. Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. plunger. The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. The Question: What are three things less endangered than our freedom? CARNAC: May a desert rat sunbathe on your radar range. A: High rollers. http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=470, torchweb@gmail.com [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. Q: What's good advice to give a Japanese tailor? A: Fists of fury and five fingers of death. Im Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carsons desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). Name, in reverse order, a droll comedian, the first name of a popcorn purveyor and a fat, self-absorbed, obnoxious loser!" . Here's how it played out on air. The Answer: Confused, weak, feeble, and uncertain. the Denver Nuggets. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. The character was introduced in 1964. Question Man". ", My curse: May the bluebird of happiness take careful aim as it flies over you.-- Dave Montuori (Dr.ZRFQ) UUCP: !decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!damUVa CS dept, C'ville, Va. CSNET: dam@virginia, "May Allah blow sand in your Preparation H.". Clarnac: Well see how it goes, if Clarnac can find his reading glasses. Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. And I enjoyed every single minute of it.. A: Supervisor. One of his characters, "Carnac the Magnificent," drew on his early entertainment work as a magician in Nebraska. In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! Q: Which floor wax was used by the Three Mile Island Carnac held each envelope to his forehead while "divining" the answer, then tore open the end of the envelope and loudly blew into it before removing the index card with the question. Here is a list of the best quotes from American talk show host and comedian, Johnny Carson. In article <42@kestrel.ARPA> t@kestrel.ARPA writes: > Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. Forum Novelties. Q: Where should you address all your mail? Paul? Key'n'Stroke. A: Igloo. What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? Q: What do you get on your fon if you leave it out all After displaying a chip that looked like a pear, Myrtle turned away just long enough for Carson to crunch down on one of her priceless potato creationsor so it seemed. Q: How would a wino see the three musketeers. We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers. Or are you just happy to see me? Describe the sound you hear when a sheep blows up!! when is a felony traffic stop done; saskatchewan ghost towns near saskatoon; affitti brevi periodi napoli vomero; general motors intrinsic value; nah shon hyland house fire Saint Sophia Cathedral is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the most significant landmarks of Kiev, Ukraine. The Question: Whats the name of Bidens black, female affirmative action nominee to the Supreme Court? night? Q: What should be posted on Howard Cosell's tongue? In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes. Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. share. "A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo.Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be?A: Zippo Marx.Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?A: Touchback.Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?A: Big Ben, Joe Namath and a candidate's campaign promises.Q: What is a clock, a jock and a crock.Answer: Sis Boom BahQuestion: What sound does a sheep make when it explodes?Name what offence someone should automatically get the death sentence:Johnny: Whoever told squirrels they were good at crossing the road!Ed: Yassir ArafatJohnny: Yassir Arafat(envelope opening)Johnny: What's the sound made when Dolly Parton removes her bra?Johnny: "It was so cold outside"Audience: "How cold was it? The Answer: He unfollowed Putin on Twitter. Unfortunately, as I age but my clients don't, more and more of them . The Question: Name a clock, a jock, and a crock. -- Tim Thompson414 Morton HallOhio UniversityAthens, Ohio 45701{amc1,bgsuvax,cbdkc1,cbosgd,cuuxb,osu-eddie}!oucs!tim. Line: 315 A: Natural gas. The character was introduced in 1964. knows the contents of these envelopes, but you, in your divine and borderline mystical way will ascertain the questions having never before seen the answers. Q: What should the oil companies' new slogan be? Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. ", "Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.". CARNAC: May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip. ED: Certainly worth waiting for Q: What do you call tiny little dumps? . CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret This one appears on a fortune file on our VAX/VMS: From a very old song that I cannot remember anything about (please don't, May a deranged midget on a pogo stick take refuge in your sister's hoop. Carnac the Magnificent was a role played by Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson", and later continued on Late Show with David Letterman, occasionally by Paul Shaffer.One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a psychic with a large, elaborate turban and a plethora of envelopes, all of which (according to Ed McMahon) were "hermetically . Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" Q: Who are the candidates for mayor of Los Angeles? , The Question: Who is the longest surviving member of the Japanese Air Force? May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. Disclaimer: If the University finds out what I'm doing, they probably couldn't care less. Carnac the Magnificentwas a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carsonon The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. by BMcCJ. sister. station? CARNAC: May an evil genie put splinters in your Aurora CARNAC: May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your CARNAC: May your wife give mouth-to-mouth resusitation to CARNAC: May you be forced to visit a near-sighted The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? Q: How does Howard Cosell call his toupee? Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. A: Planter's Punch. 42 results for "carnac hat" RESULTS. It is entirely fictitious. [9], File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php We are now officially the living who envy the dead! A: Dustin Hoffman. May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your jock strap. May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? Johnny would don an . Is that about right, sir? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Thanksgiving? A: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday. Watch now: Free with ads. A: Kris Kristofferson Some of his one liners: "A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou." Reading the contents of the envelope: "Name three things that have yeast." Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? A: Mount Baldy. Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page Q: Name a lord, an award and a fraud. B. Q: When should you plan on making a rest stop at a gas dickory? A: The CIA. The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? [+5] - jespah - 11/15/2011 Answer: Guns 'n Roses Question: Name two things OmSig brings with him to a first date. "Johnny: "It was so cold, the politicians had their hands in their ownpockets. The character was introduced in 1964. ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. . Q: Where will the president of NBC be working soon? Ed: I hold in my hand the envelopes. A: Shareholder. This is a very exciting evening for us at ______________________. The Question: Name an elephant, a donkey, and a Rino. May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. The Answer: Kermit the Frog, Shrek, and Al Gore. Q: What do you say when calling your quat? The Answer: Noah Daniels and Little Mort. Q: Name an address Anita Bryant will never have. The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. ", and "9W" was the answer to "Mr. Wagner, do you spell your name with a V?" I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. I hope it makes you laugh. A: Pat and Debby Boone. A: The big ten. (Crowd applauds) #10. Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church? A: "The Front." Discover and Share the best GIFs on Tenor. I unfortunately have not kept up with this particularfield, so can enlighten you no further.--, Craig Werner !philabs!aecom!werner "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. The Answer: The Senate Intelligence Committee. Q: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his "Reading the contents of the envelope:"Name three things that have yeast. A: Jaws 2 and Capricorn One. There are more than 10 alternatives to Carnac for Mac, Windows, Linux and Xfce. Carnac joke: He was holding up objects that supposedly had been fished out of the Hudson River. The Question: How did Obiden sanction the Russians for invading Ukraine? A: SAG Strike. 200 views, 3 upvotes. May you be rich enough to own a house with 100 rooms, and may you be found dead in every one of them. Story. A: Beethoven's Fifth. Function: require_once. Q: Name two movies and a suppository. A: "Rose Bowl." A: De-frost. All the funny items on this website are fictitious. Line: 68 Click here to be a writer! Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong. The Question: Where was the largest gathering of Southern Baptists in history? Q: Where won't you see Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor? A: Lorne Green. My question to you net.joke-sters out there: What is the funniest "ComedicCurse" you have heard? May your enemies get cramps in their legs as they dance on your grave. , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. your only sister. Q: Name a Kristofferson. Q: What was the final score of the Jaws-Capricorn game? . The answer: "Sis boom bah." Q: What would you keep if you had to choose between sex and Carson Caucas 1984. Carnac the Magnificent was a comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. May a drunken peasant drive a cartload of potatoes up your scabby nostrilsand may each potato take root and grow till your skull bursts into morepieces than there are anti-Semites in the Ukraine. Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show Johnny Carson 772K subscribers Subscribe 5.9K 1.1M views 11 years ago Watch Carson episodes every night on. CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. A: Green thumb. Q: Who ruined that darn rug? up your turban. Sunday, 16 December 2018. Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. Prime Video. Q: What do you need after Hamburger Helper? CARNAC: May your desert pension fund be managed by Jimmy , Ed: I hold in my and the last envelop. QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. Q: Describe a double feature with Earthquake and The contest. The Answer: Sinking faster than the Titanic. The longest laugh ever recorded was given to "Sis Boom Bah," which was the answer to "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes" and resulted in both Carson and McMahon breaking character to laugh as well. pants. Q: How do you get it? Q: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. A: Rough cut. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically"divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. The Question: Name a childrens nursery rhyme to be screamed every time Hillary Clinton opens her mouth. A: Roman Gabriel, Lance Ramsell and Howrd Cosell A: Bedbug. Q: What kind of holly would you find growing on your buddy? The Question: Name three things that always tell the truth. , The Question: What is the name the new Disney fat stripper movie. car industry. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/index.php Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? Q: When will you get to work going 55 miles an hour? ", "May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow! A: 2001. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. In article <10@udenva.UUCP> sho@udenva.UUCP (Mr. Blore) writes. Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. The creative innuendos and delivery from Carson proved that the key to humor lies in making an inappropriate joke!

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